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Octomom's lips

Steve Hartkopf - Friday, June 05, 2009
What would you do with a trillion dollars?

Personally, I’d do exactly what the current administration has done: I’d buy the country.

Why not! We’re the greatest country in the history of countries and a trillion (plus/minus) dollars is a sensational price. You throw in 100% owner financing and you've just closed the deal of the millennium.

The end-strategy is brilliant too: Give 51% of the electorate more in benefits than they pay in taxes and never lose another election.

They began by assembling the tribes. The unions, the gays and lesbians, the Latinos, etc., bought in first. When that failed to deliver a permanent majority they needed new pander-tribes. But who was left (pun intended)?

Politicians are smart, especially at pandering. They can see value where others can’t. Most people would not invest vast sums of money in bankrupt companies, with poor management teams, unpopular products and failed business models. But the politicians knew that the breakup value of GM, for example, was enormous. I’m not talking about buying plants and real estate for pennies on the dollar,  and reselling the pieces for a higher price. I'm talking about votes.

Votes may now be purchased by the industry or the company and they go where (else) the money is. With Financial Services and Automotive almost complete they now have Health Care and Pharmaceutical in their sites. “You want to keep your job? You need money? Here you go, just don’t forget where you got it come election time…”

It wasn't enough that the tribes had already stepped up big-time in their contributions. The unions were in for about a half billion. The exact number is hard to confirm but it's a big number. One person was clear. "We spent a fortune to elect Barack Obama -- $60.7 million to be exact -- and we're proud of it," boasted Andy Stern, president of the Service Employees International Union, to the Las Vegas Sun last month.

What about all those pesky people who aren’t getting bailed out, like the 401K crowd? That's a good question. My guess is they won’t be contacted unless more votes are needed and that may not be for a very, very, long time.

Is it just me or does all this seem as unnatural as Octomom’s lips?

                                     

Steve


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