Aligned Marketing Blog

The Boogeyman Under the Bed

My story begins with a smack. Not snack! Smack!

There was a loud smack quickly followed by a yelp, which was really more of a scream. It’s all blurry. My dad would smack my mom, she would yelp-scream and my sister was crying. That’s all I remember, it’s my first memory. I was under a bed, hiding, I was three.

It is a matter of profound importance that everyone in a nation know that with whatever facts they start their life, there is a clear and open route to rise…there is power to be had in the full unleashing of human capital.

- Peggy Noonan, WSJ, 11-7-08

Peggy Noonan was writing about the remarkable ascendancy of President Obama. She was praising our great nation but another truth was being shared as well: The ability to communicate effectively is the greatest talent a person can possess. President Obama has that talent at an extraordinary level. I have the lite version but that’s good enough.

My ability to communicate effectively is, in my mind, the reason I was able to crawl out from under that bed, escape my Boogeyman, enjoy financial success, and ultimately live the life me and my wife have, pretty much, always desired.

If you can communicate well, you will succeed in life. If you can’t communicate well, you will not succeed in life. It’s that simple.

Sales pitches, job interviews, doctoring, emails, policing, blogging, creating websites, marriage, parenting—they all hinge on our ability to communicate, both verbally and nonverbally.

Eye contact, hand gestures, pitch, pauses, fidgeting, inflection, passion, and body movement are all important. We know that instinctively. Children can tell when someone is lying. You can too. Our crap-detectors are embedded deep within our DNA.

Juggling all of those verbal and non-verbal “communication balls” while people are watching is hard work. That’s why we get nervous before delivering an important message. That’s why those of us who can communicate well are often successful.

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

-       Anais Nin

Few of my childhood memories are pleasant. We lived on the perforated edge of poverty. Alcohol fueled intense volatility and frustrations piled up without relief, so the smallest annoyance sparked the next firestorm. Peace was a luxury we couldn’t afford. From that cocktail of events and emotions I was able to squeeze some nourishment. Nourishment I’ll call hope.

Dream big. I think dreaming is what saved me from my environment and myself. Somehow I knew there was a better future for me, out there. My circumstances may have stolen some of my inner-self but they also gave me a determination that has served me well. Success requires confidence, which you can fake to a certain extent, and a strong work ethic, which you can’t.

As I taught my children, everyone pays list price for success. Don’t look for short cuts. I never expected my dreams to come true without a lot of effort. I knew there would be mountains to climb, mountains that others can never understand even if they wanted to, which they didn’t. So be it. Change what you can. Try not to complain. Celebrate as often as possible. Go to work.

I am a communicator, a peacemaker and, when all else fails, a comedian. What else could I be? I was a child trying to hold the family together. Do well. Be funny. Keep everyone focused on the positive. Avoid the hell. The past will always be part of me, but I vowed that I wouldn’t let it rule my life. The future belongs to those who define it for themselves.

Ideas won’t keep. Something must be done about them.

- Alfred North Whitehead

High school was turbulent. I had problems with authority but at the same time wanted to do well. Go figure? From my perspective everyone I had met who was in charge was underperforming (I cleaned it up). I learned to trust myself and, regretfully, no one else. Some dust-ups but, as Rocky Balboa said in the movie, Rocky, “Nothing to brag about.”

I left home before I was 18-years old. Somewhere in my early twenties after a few of my friends had been sent to prison and a few others had died, I decided to grow up. Time to stop worrying about the past and mean it this time. Time to get on with my life.

My eyes were on the prize. I became a Labrador Retriever chasing a tennis ball, I had a goal and was focused. I met my wonderful wife and our two sons. Hope was taking root. “I can do this! Have faith (Faith),” my heart implored me. About ten years later I had my MBA and my corporate career was underway. I did well; it’s always better late than never. The appearance of middleclassdom, of normalcy, was getting easier.

Twenty-five years combined in sales and then marketing. We were transferred around the country; the wine-country, Chicago, Philly, Charleston, and Charlotte, our new home. My last three jobs have been as a Vice President of Marketing, most recently with two of the largest industrial distributors in the country. I beat cancer. I wrote and published a book, Communication Wins. Who woulda’ thunk it?

I run my own small firm now, Aligned Marketing. It’s working. Not having a boss is a great way to quell my trust issues, which at some level still haunt me. Until recently so did the fear of poverty, a terrible, sometimes debilitating, feeling. My fear of poverty was a big dragon to slay. They say dragons are mythical creatures but, I can assure you, they are real.

Our financial manager says we’re about set; our money should last until we’re 100-years old. How cool is that! We made it. So can you.

I can write, speak, help when I can, state in clear terms when I can’t and, most importantly, be there for my family. I like being me. I am so glad, so grateful, so blessed, that I was able to crawl out from under that bed and escape the Boogeyman.

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.

-       Cyril Connolly

Note to Chris Brogan: I laid it all out there. I hope you enjoy My Story.

Steve

800-707-9150

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Sinbad was the project manager for ‘Men’s” team’s and he made several lethal mistakes. Here are the big ones:

1. He did not unite his team around a common goal or a common vision. They had a general direction but nothing concrete to guide them on a decision-by-decision basis. They could not operate confidently and effectively without Sinbad, or even with him for that matter. A good project manager gets everyone on the same page at the beginning of the project and assign roles, responsibilities, and specific tasks.
2. Bret Michaels is clearly a high strung guy. He became agitated by Sinbad’s lack of direction, poor communication and fuzzy goals during the team's first meeting. Bret had a point but he handled it poorly by getting angry. Sinbad decided to ignore Bret instead of confronting the petulant Poison frontman. That proved to be a mistake since, Bret, had no choice but to (reluctantly) share his concerns with Mr. Trump in the Boardroom, where the firings take place. Sinbad enabled his poorest performer by not addressing his concerns and taking positive corrective action, that could later be used to deflect an attack.
3. Every project, no matter how small, has milestones and communication checkpoints. That’s how you know progress is being made and the team is still aligned. Project timelines are lost at the beginning of projects, not at the end. Sinbad took his responsibility too lightly. He was responsible for everything. He was responsible for the process and the outcome.  He forgot he had to answer for A-Z to Mr. Trump.
4. So where was his “team?” Coming off the drubbing the Men's team gave the “Women” in week one, the Men were a little cocky and, apparently, unwilling to step up in a positive way for one another. They let their leader die. Shame on them. They all knew the project wasn’t going to magically come together at the end, that Sinbad was a poor leader, and that he would probably take the fall. Why didn’t one of them warn him? Because the Celebrity Apprentice is a competition, a game.

I guess that means that none of these things, these fatal flaws, could happen in real life? Nonsense, these same team dynamics happen in real life all the time. If you see them happening on one of your team's, do the right thing. Step up and help correct the situation. Don't get mad and pout, bring the team together, objectively define the issues, and take corrective actions.

Now we know why Sinbad got fired.

Steve

8--=707-9150

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Describe your business in terms of benefits and value so the person you are talking to can better understand how you can help them, regardless of what it is you do. “I‘ve been building estate homes in Chicago since 1977” is more descriptive and better than, “I’m a builder,” because it infers some of the benefits you provide and encourages a conversation.

The second version lets the other person know you have solid experience, probably know a lot about a specific geography, you build big-expensive house and, finally, it implies the homes you build are constructed well. If those inferences were not true it is unlikely you'd have been in business since "1977." If you had simply said, “I’m a builder,” you would miss all those important attributes and benefits. Successful people never make this error and almost every successful person I’ve met is a good conversationalists.

A conversation allows you and the other person to determine if your unique expertise fits their unique needs and if your personalities are compatible for a business relationship.

So, the next time you meet someone describe your business or profession in interesting terms that conveys the benefits you provide.

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Nowhere in the world are the gaffs more noticeable than in sports. Athletes live in a world where the communication and interpersonal rules most of us rely to get through life don’t apply. In fairness, they often find themselves with a microphone in their face at inopportune times, like after a tough loss or bad play.

Sports Illustrated listed some classics in their 12-28-09 magazine:

What should do if this happens to you?

Own up to it, be self-effacing, and let it go. Take a tip from professional gaffers, politicians. Explaining and making excuses just prolongs the attention and, at some point, makes you look defensive and small.

How we express ourselves sends a powerful message to the world about ourselves and about our company. If you need help perfecting your message please give me a call at the number below.

Steve

800-707-9150

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1. There are basic formats for press releases and, for the most part, they are all similar to one another. We won't go into formatting here but if you type in "press release format" into Google you get about 69 million results. WebWire's formatting guidelines came up first so here's a link: http://www.webwire.com/FormatGuidelines.asp
2. Make sure the editor is interested in your topic area. When targeting a selected list of papers and outlets, review their recently published articles and try to draw a connection between your press release and their stories. If you don’t know who to contact at a news organization, search their website for stories about related topics, products, or companies similar to yours and approach the people, editors and reporters, involved in those stories.
3. Stick to the facts. Opinions are great but unless you’re famous more news outlets, sorry, don’t care. Professionally trained journalists stick with the essential five W's and the H are who, what, why, where, when, and how when writing a story so you need to do the same. Answer these questions for them, do their work and you’ll increase the odds of getting your story into print.
4. Be clear. Make sure your press releases are free of industry jargon and acronyms. Translate technical or industry jargon into plain English and write in short declarative sentences at approximately an eighth-grade reading level. (Just guess.)
5. Brevity is a must. Every word and every line, including the obligatory quotes from company executives, must provide editors and reporters with useful information. Use only the facts you need to support your story, edit out any filler that snuck in during the drafting process and get to the point.
6. Provide proof sources. If there is someone, a credible source, the editor or reporter can contact to verify your statements and claims, then include their contact information. Be sure to let your sources know that they may be contacted, what they can expect to be asked about, and you would like them to respond.

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1. Fire
2. Jesus and
3. the Internet

I know a lot more happened, I just think the rest of it is largely subtext. I guess I’m a big picture guy. Some of us operate at 20,000 feet and some us at 3 feet. That’s fine. We’re just different. One view is not necessarily better than the other and we need both types of people (and a lot more) in the world. We all have a role to play.

Even though I consider myself a decent writer, I’m not the guy to hire if you want to a write long detailed process manual, which may be needed to implement a strategy. I’d get about 90% through, get bored and struggle with the last 10%. Attention to detail has been a life-long issue for me. My best work has been done when I had highly analytical teammates, people to help me with details. These differences are good, in fact they’re important.

Can you imagine how boring it would be if every night you sat down with your friends and family and said, “Okay, what should we talk about? Fire, Jesus or the Internet?” That wouldn’t work well, although I know people who, it seems, do only talk about the last two.

It’s hard to figure out your own set of words. It takes time and effort to work through and reconcile your inner-most thoughts and feelings. But that’s exactly how we learn about ourselves. My little three-word exercise is just one tactic and those are my results.

I’m going to assume your list, your top three (fifteen, whatever) is different than mine and that’s the point. Write your own list. Once you have it, study it. What does it tell you about yourself? How can you incorporate your natural tendencies, the real you, into your work? How can you mix it into your fun?

I’ve shared my list. Care to share yours?

Steve

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