Whether it’s the support of our family or the cooperation of our co-workers, most of us need other people to accomplish our goals. In fact, the more skilled we are at winning people to our cause, the more we can accomplish. Here’s a checklist of skills to hone to win with people.

• First and foremost, smile. It’s a simple and easy way to express your openness, desire to collaborate and reduce anxiety.
• Most people align their thinking and their feelings. Telling jokes, buying lunch, talking about sports or some other common interest, are activities designed to establish rapport and produce a relaxed emotional climate. Do whatever is appropriate for your setting to promote positive feelings and reduce stress.
• Reinforce the feeling elements with facts. Specifically, if facts are available and add to the conversation, present them and your sources early in the conversation. This reduces the likelihood that the conversation will turn into a battle of wills or personalities.
• Whenever possible, use practical examples or a clever phrase to drive home your most important points. "Bob is a talented person, but he shouldn't have yelled at his co-workers in yesterday's meeting. All he shared was his anger. What we needed was his thinking"
• Show your enthusiasm through your body language - lean forward, use your hands, or raise your eyebrows. Enthusiasm is
  contagious and it helps put other people in a positive mood. Besides, if you're not excited about what you're selling, how do expect to get your audience excited.
• Show respect for the other person through your words, tone of voice, and manner of listening. Let the other person know that their opinions, intelligence, and pressures are understood and important to you.
• Similarly, figure out how you can help them before asking them to help you.
• When the other person agrees with you, either move onto the next point or, if you’ve gotten the order, close the discussion and leave. Overstaying your welcome is impolite and overselling destroys confidence.
• Even if you do not get the answer you want, stay confident and make sure the other person knows you plan on going forward without their help. Sometimes people change their minds after they’ve had more time to consider your position or they may know someone else who can help you. If they think you abandoned your project, both those positive outcomes are eliminated as possibilities.
• Choose your words with care because they are the difference between success and failure.
• Always  speak and write in precise words, otherwise, your best words may not be available when you need them the most.
• Finally, make sure your words and deeds are aligned. People are watching...

Steve