My old-fogy friends will remember those three words (Somebody’s Watching You) from the song with the same name. Chaka Khan did lead vocals when she was part of the 70’s band Rufus. This blog is not about 70’s music or Chaka Khan. This is about knowing that someone may indeed be watching you.

In an interconnected, YouTube enabled, Twitterverse world, somebody is always watching you and you need to acknowledge that fact. People watch and judge everything you do and the more you do online the more the judging increases. Here are some things to consider as you manage your online communication.

1. You have good days and bad days. That’s not news. The news is you need to be self-aware of your moods since you are now, to a certain extent, a public figure. You can’t snap, bark or call-out a perceived offender just because you spilled your Starbuck’s in the parking lot this morning. Words typed onto the web live forever, so think before you type.
2. Embrace conflict. With over 6 billion people on the planet it’s highly likely you’re going to get hit by someone’s fury. If you’re contributing anything of value then you’re taking strong positions and putting your opinions forward. Someone will disagree with you and that’s ok. Debate is a good thing. It typically adds activity around and visibility to your words. As long as you are reasoned in your comments, the debate will be good for business and your online brand.
3. As in face-to-face interaction, asking a nonjudgmental question is usually better than asking a challenging question or demanding that someone justify a comment to you (the All-Knowing). “Help me understand,,,?” works much better than, “What’s wrong with you?”
4. Stay cool. Being defensive is immature and bad business. Sure, someone will say that your positions are “stupid” or imply that your parents were never married (“bastard”), but you’re under no obligation to respond in kind. In fact by keeping a cool head, staying on the topic and not resorting to childish behavior, you will gain more followers and more respect.
5. Remain comfortable in your skin. That may seem obvious but many people try too hard to be perfect, to be ultra-professional. At some point you can become uninteresting, milk toast, filler without flavor. No one wants to read about milk toast. Ok, almost no one. A little humor, a little personality, a little poke at an institution, for example, isn’t all bad if done in taste and without being nasty. A kind heart can discuss any subject effectively. An angry heart can’t say good morning effectively.
6. Time heals. I’ve had online communication turn sour. Sometimes it’s best just to give it a little time and then reach out in a non-threatening way. I’m not saying apologize, especially if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. But more often than not you’ll find the person you were bickering with disliked the exchange as much as you did and will welcome an opportunity to reconcile.
7. As my wife and I learned early in our marriage, the mall is a lousy place to fight. It’s more fun to fight at home where you can really let each other have it…That’s a joke (honey). On the few occasions I’ve inspired anger in someone, I didn’t respond in the public forum where the original exchange took place. Instead I took the discussion to a one-on-one format. That way we both felt less pressure to defend our honor.
8. Similarly, the written word has limitations so sometimes it is best to pick up the phone. Too many of my relationships seem to have drifted into an online only scenario. People are busy so it’s understandable but there is no substitute for personal interaction and the sound of the human voice. If you think a relationship is headed for trouble and you have the ability to reach out by phone, do so.

Chaka Khan gave us some other great advice when she sang, “Tell Me Something Good.”

Good news is always well received.

Steve